today it is enough to sit on the earth
and look closely at the beauty of living from a cradle of shade.
it is just enough to be alone and taste the stillness of mourning.
to settle into the lush dark shadows and see sunlight,
infinitely brighter, perfectly defined by her darker twin.
moments stretch out just wide enough
to hold the enormity of feelings that weigh on my heart.
a butterfly floats among the languid flowers of summer
defying the heaviness of loss.
cicadas pulse their endless dirge.
a purple black raven punctuates the balance
flying so effortlessly
between dark, light and back again.
each unfurled wing riveting the distance between
fragile, resilient, heard, unheard, heartfelt, heartbroken, seen, and unseen....
if you were a flower
would you spill your love without reservation
across the landscape of life?
would you trail over obstacles,
sweeten the very air we breathe,
sing your song loudly in a brazen profusion of eternal blossoms?
would you recognize yourself in the reflection of the recipients of your love?
why is it, even the most beautiful among us
are often so unaware of their gifts?
the way our hearts swell just to take in the comfort of their presence,
easy laughter, genuine warmth.
how can people we love,
people who make our world as right as rain
be so invisible to themselves
and their sacred place in our grateful hearts?
maybe, for some, it is not enough to sit firmly on holy ground.
to move from the fingers of life's experiences
into and out of the dualities that wait for us all.
it is not enough to be a harbinger of beauty,
to capture the very essence of life on giant canvases,
speaking the language of miracles and wonder out loud.
for some the dark stone of despair sits on every heart beat
and life itself is a constant struggle to stay above
an undertow so consuming;
they never taste the ease of a bright new day.
for all those among us with their easy smiles,
laughter, gifts, achievements,
their place in the very fabric of our lives.
how many lie awake at night
with an anguish we could never dream of?
yet, who among us
would not drop the ten thousand distractions
of any given day to help a friend, if we only knew.
i sit in the shadows of mourning,
the clouds so impossibly huge. thank god the sky has torn open
in an crashing of thunder, lightening, rain.
and like the raven i fly fly fly
into the heart of darkness then light,
and back again.
oh to place an open palm on each and every wounded heart
who has met a moment
where the enormity of hopelessness
was greater than their ability to navigate
their way on this earth.
to console the essence of those who,
could not be contained in the dualities of life.
***
four years ago today a dear friend took her life;
when the enormity of despair
seemed greater then her ability to chart one more day on earth.
she was a gift that brightened our world.
she had an amazing ability to "see" beauty in others,
while remaining so invisible to herself.
sadly the complexities of depression
never allowed her to experience ease, or
find her perfect place in the house of belonging.
***
today i dedicate my postcards from paradise to all those suffering with
the enormity of depression.
there may be someone closer than we imagine
desperately needing the mirror of our affirming love.
let's make the time to be there for each other.
to share your postcards from paradise
please sign in with mr. linky using a URL back to your
postcard offering.
please be sure and leave a mention and link on your blog back to
recuerda mi corazon
and
postcards from paradise
so more can join us.
enjoy your journey from post to post
and leave a love note at every stop along the way.
this post, your thoughts, your words, the story - touched me deeply. so beautifully said.
Posted by: sperlygirl | July 24, 2011 at 07:05 AM
In all my years on the Internet, I have never read or seen a post as beautiful and poignant as yours today, Rebecca. I picture your friend's soul unbound, free. As I read, I knew what was coming. All my life I have carried depression although it is gentle in my later years. I was particularly struck by this sentence: "why is it, even the most beautiful among us are often so unaware of their gifts?" Unfortunately, this flaw seems to be a recurring one when depression grabs hold. All I can say is thank God for the chemistry available today--and the good therapists who listen to the stories of people when they are mired in perpetual shades of gray and anxiety. And thank you, Rebecca, for what you bring to all of us who follow you.
Posted by: Fran aka Redondowriter | July 24, 2011 at 08:52 AM
I was no stranger to the land where it was difficult to rise and place one foot in front of the other, and yet a friendly 'I'm here' was always welcome to help me to the next step. No judgements, just compassion....
So sorry about your friend, a beautiful remembrance.
Sue x
Posted by: Sue Fox | July 24, 2011 at 09:13 AM
Your sorrow weaves through your beautiful words. Your description of floating butterflies,cicadas endless dirge,and a raven punctuating the balance,spoke volumes.
I join you in being there for those of us who are fragile and need love.
Posted by: gemma | July 24, 2011 at 11:09 AM
yes, compassion. thank you for this, rebecca; i have quoted you and posted about another bright light who has left us.
i love you so.
Posted by: adrienne | July 24, 2011 at 11:19 AM
Hello Rebecca,
And thank you for your lovely and thought provoking postcard. I think often about depression and those who suffer with mental illness. A great portion of people on earth suffer from this debilitating disease. It's important to become aware. I think society is a bit more conscious than thirty years ago. You are right. These are the people who truly DO need our love and attention.
I know many who have taken their life.
My heart goes out to you and your dear friends family today!
Love,
Constance
Posted by: rochambeau | July 24, 2011 at 12:46 PM
rebecca, you have an incredible gift with words and images... thank you...
love...
Posted by: lynne | July 24, 2011 at 01:19 PM
Your words and pictures always touch me so deeply, Rebecca. I am sorry for your loss. This is an important reminder to me to remember others sufferings instead of fixating on my own small ones...we all need each other so much. Blessings and love dear Rebecca, xoO
Posted by: Olivia | July 24, 2011 at 01:41 PM
This postcard could have been written to a friend of mine who took her own life over 20 years ago. She was brilliant. And then she was not...
Thank you, Rebecca, for these words of wisdom, healing, hope and light.
Posted by: Magical Mystical Teacher | July 24, 2011 at 01:50 PM
i hope your friend dwells now, in a light and love that is inexpressible. i, too, have a friend who took his life, many years ago. i understand the darkness, though it is the journey of pain and illness that brings it to me periodically - but it is enough to make me feel for those who battle it continually. and then there is the darkness that comes from evil that is done to innocents... such as that in norway. so many of your words here made me think of those dwelling in that land of mourning, today. those of us who are walking in the light have a responsibility, i think, to reach out our hands and hearts when we see others walking in the land of shadows...
Posted by: leslie | July 24, 2011 at 02:53 PM
I just sent you an email with similar sentiments...not so eloquently put but in my heart just the same.
x..x
Posted by: Stephanie | July 24, 2011 at 02:56 PM
This is the loveliest tribute that I can imagine.
Posted by: Mama Zen | July 24, 2011 at 03:13 PM
What a warm and loving tribute to your friend. I'm sure she reads it with love and warmeth for you. Peace
Posted by: gloria | July 24, 2011 at 03:34 PM
Such a beautifully written post, Rebecca. You have such a beautiful soul! I'm sorry to hear that you lost such a good friend. Depression can certainly blind us or sink us to such a low that we can't see a way to rise up again. And yes, we need to take a moment to see if those around us (or even ourselves) need extra care and attention. Thank you for the reminder.
PS: Your first image would make a gorgeous painting, don't you think? Look at all the colours, from the blues and purples in the shade to the yellows and oranges in the sunlight.
Posted by: susanna | July 24, 2011 at 03:52 PM
Dear Rebecca, my heart aches for you..and for your friend. I lost a dear one the same way and I still stand in wonder and pain, how could she not know how dear she was to everyone around her, how could I have helped her see her her own precious glory. The lesson in every pain eventually becomes clear and I never ever hesitate to tell those who open my heart exactly how much they mean and how very dear they are not only to me but to all they touch.Hugs to you, dear one nd know you are also a precious treasure.
Posted by: Kathleen | July 24, 2011 at 03:54 PM
This loving is so beautiful, my friend. That you have take the time to shine this love light so brightly is a gift to all who read it.
I am so grateful to be in this precious life at the same time as you, Darling Heart.
The biggest of big love !
Posted by: Kim Mailhot | July 24, 2011 at 05:05 PM
My Dearest rebecca,
One year ago, my first experience of you was this tribute and memorial to the loss of your friend. At that time, I didn't know you and you did not know me. But the beauty of your words, the compassion of your heart and the clarion call to invite all into the house of belonging before it was no longer possible struck a chord so deep in me that I never forgot it and I came back again, hoping that you might see me, respond or interact with me, and you did! I know, in my heart of hearts that this year, your tribute takes in far more than the memory of your dear friend, although she is worthy of such heartfelt beauty and sentiment. I know the depth of your sadness runs so deep that you can hardly mark it. And I know that you would indeed "trail over obstacles", "sweeten the air", and "sing your song loudly in a brazen profusion of eternal blossoms" for one whom you dearly love and are lost to help right now. Your words fall like honey from a freshly filled hive, yet they carry such weight and sadness. There is no one who offers such depth of beauty in moments of despair as you my friend. I am thinking of you and I love you.
xoxox,
Noelle
Posted by: Noelle | July 24, 2011 at 05:31 PM
Always a joy to behold! I hope to soon join in this blissfulness...gotta be where the peaceful folk are. ♥♥♥
Posted by: priti.lisa | July 24, 2011 at 06:19 PM
such a beautiful post
wish all those who feel
lost could feel
this love of life
Posted by: missing moments | July 24, 2011 at 07:30 PM
Thank you so much for this beautiful post, Rebecca. I dedicate the lovely words and sentiments to my little sister, Jennifer, who has struggled with very serious depression most of her life.
Posted by: Elizabeth | July 24, 2011 at 11:48 PM
what can I say Rebecca. you are one of the most beautiful souls that I have ever had the honour of knowing. xoxo
Posted by: Miss Robyn | July 25, 2011 at 05:20 AM
each and every comment here is spoken with depth of truth. Rebecca, I love you and your huge endless love
Posted by: encore...please of please | July 25, 2011 at 06:54 AM
Your raven flying from darkness to light and back again .... we all have that raven .... But the dark stone of despair sitting on every heartbeat .... I have no words for that but a quiet groaning .... I had a friend like yours too .... Many years ago .... It is still a still mourning with no words for that but a quiet groaning.
Posted by: Kim A. | July 25, 2011 at 07:25 AM
There is simply nothing that I can add, the previously posted words of love, understanding and care simply blend with mine. Like one gigantic heart. You weave magic with words, icons, art works because your entire soul is one heart, inclusive and open. These previous posts remind me that I am not alone. My husband has suffered with debilitating psychotic problems for decades. And now his memory is fading, the confusion is setting in, but like all the preceding days and years, I hope I can accept it with grace and loving care. This is a secret, myth-laden disease that needs fresh air, open minds and hearts.
I truly feel for your loss of a dear friend.
Posted by: sharon furner | July 25, 2011 at 07:25 AM
Your post is so elegant Rebecca/`you are so gifted with words and a heart that knows how to string them together with such impact. I am so sorry about your friend :( Depression is such a complicated thing that can linger near the surface and raise it's ugly head unexpectedly.It's something I deal with and sometimes that pit of despair is hard to get out of. Your friend sounded like such a lovely person~by honoring her here you also remind others that they are not alone and to be attentive of friends/family who may be headed down the same path.
Wishing you health and happiness this brand new week:)
<3
Posted by: Christine | July 25, 2011 at 10:28 AM
Your words and photographs are a beautiful tribute to your dear friend. I am so sorry for your loss. I pray with you for all of those souls who suffer from depression. May the Light penetrate their darkness, and fill their hearts with lasting hope, peace, joy and love. Blessings to you!
Posted by: Karen Gerstenberger | July 25, 2011 at 01:01 PM
Your writing is so amazing. Simple, yet elegant. I suffer from depression. Some days I'm just not a happy camper. Some days I am. Creating art and shooting pictures makes me happy. Connecting with friends online also makes me happy.
Posted by: Cheryl | July 25, 2011 at 02:02 PM
You touched so many hearts with your beautiful words. Each of us -- your friend included -- is a unique gift to the world, whether we're here for a year or a hundred.
Posted by: Meri @ Meri's Musings | July 25, 2011 at 03:43 PM
Again, you have touched me so deeply and moved me to tears. I adore and love you so much Rebecca!!!
Posted by: Maija | July 25, 2011 at 03:51 PM
This is a beautiful post, Rebecca. Your photos and words are simply stunning.
Posted by: Leslie M | July 26, 2011 at 01:10 PM