do you remember being just old enough
to replace the universally favored day of youth,
insert-your-birthday here, with a new more promising choice?
thank goodness for the moment you moved
one baby step away from childhood's ego centered I-ME-Mine orientation
to show a hint of altruism
and decide, perhaps the world turns round
with greater thoughts than just yourself.
(insert great excitement and birds cheeping approval at your new found enlightenment!)
my leap towards cosmic awareness,
my; let's begin in the spirit of renewal, let's hail in the new year
on the upbeat-bird-singing-everything-is-possible
new favorite day of the year
was
vernal equinox!!!
when i took my most beloved first day of Spring
and slated it for a doomed from
the start wedding date?
were there signs,
an abundance of RED FLAGS
shouting
STOP!!!!
move away from the groom???
yes.
did i nearly fall from grace???
YES!
did i loose my footing in the garden of innocence???
YES!!!
did the blossom of sweet youth in the bosom of eternal optimism
wither and die on the vine?
YES!!!!!
and for a long, long time..
(insert gravely sorrowful voice)
did the first day of Spring
conjure up a gazillon
shattered dreams and broken hearts?
sadly, yes.
did i live to sing again???
did i find my way back to the comfort of seasons?
did i remember the world turns with a
greater purpose than just myself?
did i claim courage to once again
open my eyes and heart?
fly in the face of grave misfortune and find humor,
promise and happiness once more?
oh yeah!!
did i learn to face life squarely,
look unabashed into the heart of each new moment?
reassemble the thousand broken pieces into something
whole???
A resounding YES!!!!!!!!
did, in the moment of forgiveness
music play in the distance?
flowers spring into bloom,
birds light in my
hair?
but, after picking up all the pieces and fashioning a perfectly
older more worldly don't-let-her-innocent-daisy-eyes-fool-you bride,
finally,
welcome spring!!!!!!!
Oh Rebecca! You are so sly. I was not at all expecting that skull! And yet when I saw it in the mirror, my heart lept up and I thought, well, I thought, "Yes!" This is exactly what I needed at this exact exact moment. What a beautifully told resurrection, helpful, inspiring story. I love you. You have lifted me up.
Posted by: bethany | March 20, 2010 at 01:11 PM
this post made me smile for the first time all day. I can feel my face change shape. I can suddenly hear the windchimes outside.
Posted by: bethany | March 20, 2010 at 01:13 PM
And Happy Spring to you too!!!!
(I don't think I've moved too far out of that self centered stage yet!)
Posted by: bethany | March 20, 2010 at 01:16 PM
Oh what a journey we all go on. Sometimes it feels like we're on a roller coaster, hopefully strapped in snugly, but more or less along with the ride. To take what we're given and find the "diamonds in the rough," now that's something to aspire to. Did I tell you I'm going for a week of silence at the beach in about 10 days? I'll have to get my mosaicon shrine posted before then.
Posted by: Meri | March 20, 2010 at 01:32 PM
unbelievable.
i repeat:
unbelievable.
first of all, the most stunning, breath-taking, stops-me-in-my-tracks-and-reminds me-there-is-such-BEAUTY-in-this-world work of art, and second, because i too took the most sacred of all days and slated it for a doomed from the start wedding.
i'm still searching for a thousand pieces of my shattered heart.
but now i have your shining, humbling example to remind me there is hope.
your work is nothing short of perfect. thank you.
in this world
Posted by: adrienne | March 20, 2010 at 07:09 PM
No Spring will ever come again without me giving it this face. Let the rest look at the Botticellis and Alma-Tadenas, I want this to be my image of Spring. Not as lovely as you are, but this is incredibly lovely.
I am dead myself, a long, fruitful but very tiresome day. Sweetpeas are planted, window boxes are planted, new seeds are nesting, the lemons are against the south wall in the upstairs patio and the Mason bees house is out and ready with the cocoons almost open and the flights will begin with the first sunny day. I am in bed with two bags of ice on my back and dreaming of you coming. Cannot wait. Love you.
Posted by: Allegra | March 20, 2010 at 08:53 PM
your dance
has elegant
albeit complex
and yet
alarmingly simple steps
you teach
from a depth
that may seem
to be an abyss
to some
scary
and alarmingly
BEautiful...
loving all
of your fragments
and reflections
loving you...
xox - eb.
Posted by: elizabeth bunsen | March 20, 2010 at 09:02 PM
Rebecca - I am delighted to be back online and this post is one of the reasons why. It's just gorgeous - funny, poignant, wise. Thank you for posting it and Happy Vernal Equinox to you with love!
Posted by: Delphyne | March 21, 2010 at 05:22 AM
There is little to add to all the well-spoken thoughts already posted, but as you know this is our Naw Ruz, the first day of our New Year. I have celebrated this day for 40 years as a day of spiritual renewal.
I loved the not-entirely-funny humor of this post and the marvelous skull which is reminiscent of the most beautiful sugar skulls.
Posted by: Margaret Lambert | March 21, 2010 at 07:48 PM
oh my gosh, being a skull-ista, i just adore this spring mosaic skull. brava ragazza!
Posted by: belinda | March 24, 2010 at 01:00 AM
Oh Rebecca...I can FEEL the Spring in your step...this post is full of new life, hope and fresh Spring air!
Posted by: deb taylor | March 26, 2010 at 06:37 AM